Shonde Joel Hansford, Paterson, New Jersey

Please be careful of this man. I met him in May of 2011 after school, coming out of the Paterson Center City Mall. He stopped me on the street, told me I was pretty, and we talked for a while. He was very intense, very aggressive, and something about him didn’t sit well with me. Still, he gave me his name (he said it was ‘Sean’), his number, and told me to call him. That weekend I did. I grew to really care for him. I thought about him everyday, all the time, and listened to trouble after trouble from him. He’s a mailman for the city of Paterson, NJ so he would always tell me he was ‘exhausted’, he needed to relax, and he was just sick and tired of the work. I grew to really sympathize with him and tried to comfort him. He told me he was financially strained and asked me many times to help him with the bills and for things here and there. I paid for dates, gave him money when I saw him, and bought him gifts. I make very little money as it is, but I tried my best with what I had. He even strongly encouraged me to start a business with him, and I worked hard and prepared everything to do so. Throughout our relationship, there were many signs that something was wrong. He was very protective over his cellphone, I was never able to meet his family, and I was never brought over to his house. On two separate occasions, two months apart, he told me that his cousin and uncle died. I truly felt bad for him at the beginning, but when I asked him for their names and looked them up in the obituary, nothing came up. I was very suspicious, but I never really had concrete proof. I was blinded. Most of all, I wanted it to work. I wanted to be with him, and he knew that. A few days ago, I decided to do an internet search on his name. Nothing came up. I thought, “That’s strange. Most people have an internet presence.’ So I decided to look up his mother, thinking maybe I could find out about him through her. And I did. I found out that he’s married with three kids. I also found out that the ‘uncle’ he told me that died was really his father-in-law. He was seeing me while his wife was suffering from the loss of her father. I was floored. I was shocked. I confronted him about it, and he lied, telling me the pictures of his wife and his kids I had found were his sister and nephews. He then got very angry with me, attempting to make me feel bad for prying. He thought he could just erase my doubt away. The next day I got a hold of his wife and family. I told them everything. It has been very devastating for me and I’m sure for them. It literally feels like I’ve been through an earthquake. He has no remorse, no guilt for what he did to me. I have not gotten an apology from him, only curse words and threats that he would come over my house and ’cause problems’. He has left me in the dust. There is no closure from him. There is one word for this man: sociopath. You can say evil, too. He lies and uses people for his own gain. He leaves a trail of broken hearts, and literally does not feel bad. Please beware of this guy. He preys on women, and he preyed on me because he thought I was naive and stupid. Anyone and everyone should be afraid of him. He is dangerous, whether you are male or female.

He lives in Paterson, NJ. He’s a mailman. He told me his name was Sean Joel Cooper, but he also goes by Sean Hansford. His real name is Shonde Joel Hansford.

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