Nicholas Rivara.. I met him many years ago while he was married. I did show interest, I was kid, 23. He began the game of lies then, telling me how his wife takes advantage of him, she isn’t appreciative of him and what he provides, that she’s expects everything. Back then, I didn’t realize it was a game, I didn’t realize he was a sick man. I was a 23 year old swept off my feet by a successful older man. The cute random texts, he’d make hearts out of things, take pics and send them to me. It was straight out of a chick flick. The s*x was amazing after I taught him what he needed to know, the passion and the love made it amazing.I began a relationship with him that went on for years. 4 years ago we became more serious, the divorce was final and he was free. Everything seemed OK. Moving forward as time went on, and I grew up, I noticed things that didn’t make sense. Little things here and there, he wouldnt answer my phone call in front of his friends, customers or kids. He wouldnt reply to a text if he was with his ex wife. He always “forget” where his phone was when he was around someone, little annoying things that would cause bickering. I began noticing how he was playing his ex wife and me, he’d be extra nice to her when he needed her to do something for his business, he’d go out of his way to please her so he’d be able to get a favor in return. In that time, that involved s******g on me, as if he wasn’t able to handle both of us. He was ordered to give her $6000 a month, which led to all her bills being paid, and she worked. I started noticing him doing more, paying for vet bills, paying for her car inspection, handing her more money. This is an ex wife? As I grew up and noticed these things, I began to be more vocal. The more vocal I was, the more coo coo he got. We got into an altercation, 3 years ago I found out he was cheating on me with a female that lived 3 blocks from him. I flipped out on him. I was throwing his stuff around and smacking him. He called the cops on me and had me aressted. Thats right ladies and gentleman, he cheated, he called the cops and I landed in jail. In that time, I found out the real p**** he is. 1) what man cheats THEN calls cops? 2) I never lied to the officers that came, I said exactly what I did and owned up, bc thats what real people do. He ended up telling everyone that i attacked him and never actually told them what led to it. After that, we got back together. Anyone with a half of brain would see that if the man is with me after “i attacked” him, there has to be something more. I forgave him for the girl and we moved on but it took time. Fast fwd… Things were rough for a while but Truly loved that man and chose to be with him and work through it. During superstorm Sandy, my girlfriend and I went down to his marina to bring him and his worker dinner, his worker and I never liked each other, i handed Nick a bag full of food and drinks, his worker told me to leave, I said, f*** u and his worker attacked me from behind, knocking me down and beating me. Nick did nothing, my girlfriend beat up the worker, on my sons heartbeat, nick did NOTHING but stand there. Hows that for a man. Oh, by the way, he didn’t even fire him. Sandy was a hard time for business owners, I stayed. He apoligized. We moved on. Again, being older, I realized I was brainwahsed and stupid. Time went on, I started seeing a shrink for personal reasons, I needed help identifying myself. I felt like I didn’t know myself anymore. I used to be a strong girl but I felt like weak and needed help gaining back my confidence. With every bickering argument he’d knock me, making me feel worthless and I believed him. Now looking back, I see he always needed to feel important. I see now that he needed others to see him as special, like he cant do wrong. Always worried about what others thought of him. He needs to best of everything, he has a hard time handling critisim and admitting his wrong doing. He belittles people that may appear better than him. He switches arguments around and makes u feel like u done something wrong.. “i wouldnt have done this if YOU didn’t do this” “YOURE the one that…” In the past few years after I attacked him for cheating, he attacked me many times. unprovoked. One time we were bickering near his truck, I went to open his truck door to sit down and he grabbed me by the neck and threw me to the ground. His response was “i thought u were gonna ruin my truck” I would get in his face yelling during arguments, hed throw me to the ground and hit me. I actually have that on video, wen I find it on my old phone, I will upload that. Yelling and raising ur hands are two different things. Each and everytime I stayed. I cant believe how brainwashed I was, how much I thought I cared for him. Ive never met anyone that played victim the way he did. How anyone even believed him. Still to this day, I really won’t gossip and bad mouth him. I still and always will love him, or at least who I thought he was. I think our relatonship was a sexual love for him. As he got older, I think he had a hard time understanding why someone 17 years younger than him would be involved with him and thats where the belittling came from. Each and every fight hed cry to his ex wife and shed accept him, amazing. When it was good, it was good but when it was bad, man was it bad. This last fight was the end. Earlier in the day, he went to lunch with a friend of his and went into the bathroom to sneak a phone call to tell me that he couldn’t call me from the truck as he always does bc he’s with a friend. Seriously. Its been almost 8 years. We cant call in front of people? Again, I became vocal feeling hidden asking for answers. Demanding to know why he needs to hide me. He came home later that night and plopped on the couch as he always did. With the TV on and a bag of chips on his stomach I asked him again, why am I no one to him. He ignored me. I snatched the chip from his hands and yelled out, HELLO IM F****N HERE. I told him to leave. He said no. The whole day, I begged him to go. I said, u clearly have a new GF, u dont want to be here, u treat me like s*** so u must be unhappy, u have no respect for me, just go. You have plenty of places to go, I have a child and its harder for me. Just go for now and Ill figure soemthing out in a timely fashion. I wasn’t looking to screw him over, I basically just asked for him to leave for now. So again, now he’s on the couch ignoring me and Im screaming, pls just leave. His male pride wouldnt let him leave “whats his” Like, come one.. Its one night,. just go. One bicker led to another and now we’re in the bathroom as I was going to shower. He cracked the bathroom sink open with my head. I choked him. There was a huge scuffle in between. I told him to leave and he did.. he went downstairs and called the landlord, which is his friend, and the cops. The cops came and he told them that i hit myself and caused the gash on my forehead and the bruising on my chest. I proudly said, Yes, I choked him. after I got up off the floor. I’m not a rat, i dont involve police and I never did. The officers gave us a choice, they would have left if we both agreed to not press charges, I clearly said I was OK and just wanted to sleep and shower. I said, dont do this in front of my son. but Nick was so intent on being “right” he wouldnt keep his mouth shut, he kept sayin he isnt the problem, he kept saying that none of this was him, like he needed to prove something instead of just being quiet and leaving. The officers told him to shut up and he didnt so they placed him in cuffs. He had to little scratches on his neck from my nails and he said, look what she did, meanwhile, my head is bleeding. They put me in cuffs and took me too. In front of my son, thanks nick. The next day, he gets out of jail and he calls EVERYONE. People that had nothing to ever do with out relationship. Remember, he wouldnt make phone calls in front of people for privacy, he wouldnt speak to me around anyone BUT he called everyone he knew and told them his version of what happened bc again, he needs to be right, he needs to know that people like him, he needs to know that he doesnt look like a p**** or a fool. He needs to be heard. He never spoke to his friends about me, never good or bad. Always wanted to be private. but.. he tell the whole world about this? Interesting. He ran back to his ex wife, with more lies and again, she’ll play the caring role. She’ll pretty much play any role bc she just got caught stealing $4000 from him. thats another story. This man is an absolute mess, I’m pretty much a mess too bc I mean, Im the one that stayed. He left his mom in a home. Barely visits her, just uses her money, Ive busted my a** to make sure his mom was OK. I visit her, bring her things, keep her health in check. Not one thank you. Like, its expected to him. What kind of a man turns his back on his mom? Dumps her in a home and walks away? Stole $75,000 from her to pay his tax debt. I just want to remind everyone that he told the cops I hit myself and caused the bruises. I just got word that his stupid ex wife is texting him with “concern” lmao she’s so stupid. Wake up old lady. Anyway, he ended up calling ACS lol some man. He opened up a can of worms with ACS. My plump child, who has everything and a straight 4’s down the report card, who’s loved more than anything now had to deal with being questioned and fondled by ACS looking for bruises. Thats lower than low. Good cop calling p****. Poor victim. I really feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for any person that lives in a lie. Narcissim is a terrible disease. I would never dream of annoucing this type of business.. esp since being abused its embarrssing and hes annoucing this to the world? For attention? For what? For he said she said drama? To get sympathy? Its so mind boggling. He has many people fooled, mostly men just are just as low as him. Maybe its a club? When I caught in cheating the first time, he begged and begged for me, he cried for me. He didnt even cry at his dads wake. I know this man, at one time, loved me. Im just not sure what happened in between. I think knowing that I left him bc he cheated was soemthing he couldnt accept and thats why he begged for me back. Its a part of narcissism. In arguments where I would over react he never had a problem turning his back on me, but if he was to overreact hed go out of his way to make me love him again. Again, sign of narcissism. Im left dealing with a mess and he’s out babbling to everyone, Im not perfect, Ive never had a hard time addmiting wrong doing but this is mind boggling. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for him, Im not sure why but I really hope this man gets his disease in check before ruining another life. Im purposely not mentioning names of friends or his ex wife bc as of now, none of them are doing anything to make this situation difficult but I will list people if anyone else makes this more difficult for me.