Donald Frederick Yates Jr. Dusty, Washington

I met Donald Frederick Yates Jr. (Fred) shortly after moving to the small farming town of Dusty, Washington 4 years ago. I worked as a cashier at the local store. He was a regular customer. Falling in love with Fred was as natural as breathing. Neither of us had been married before. I was 38 & Fred was 40, we had waited a long time to find the person we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. We were married on October 13th, 2013. I never would have imagined that just over year after our wedding day I’d be sitting here alone, writing this letter exposing my husband and his coworkers. Fred had his first affair with Gabrielle Marie Switalski Finley, they worked together at an assisted living facility in Colfax, Washington, 20 miles away. Fred was hired as the head chef shortly before our wedding. I had never been to Freds workplace & never met any of his coworkers. Five months after we were married, I asked Fred if I could borrow his phone after realizing I had left mine at work. Before I could make a call, a text comes through from a girl named Gabbi which read, “I’m trying to stay as pretty as I can for you, but I’m about ready to take off my makeup and go to bed. Are you still coming over, or did the wife call you home?” I was completely blindsided. It felt like the floor had dropped out from under me. My adrenaline started racing. My whole word completely changed in that moment. I could not believe what I was reading. I locked myself in the bathroom and tried desperately to pull myself together. After writing down her number I sent her a reply which read, “This is Sara, Freds wife. You can take off your makeup, he’s not coming over.” I walked into the living room. Fred was sitting on the couch. As calmly as possible I asked, “Who is Gabbi and why does she want to be pretty for you?” I’ll never forget how he looked at that moment. His whole body went limp and he turned pale. He let out a huge sigh. He just sat there, his eyes closed, head down and shoulders slumped. Finally, he looked up at me and said, “She’s just a friend from work.” I asked why he had never mentioned her before, he said, “I don’t have an answer for that.“ I showed him the text she had sent. He SWORE there was nothing going on between them and he was not having an affair with her, that he would NEVER cheat on me, EVER. He held me and told me, “We’re newlyweds, our s*x life is fantastic! I love you so much, you’re my wife & I vowed to be faithful to you! I‘m not having an affair I swear…” I wanted so bad to believe him.
The next morning when I got to work I found my phone & text Gabbi. I lied and told her Fred had confessed and told me everything, hoping to trick her into confessing herself. It worked. She replied almost immediately saying she knew Fred was married, but he told her that we had an “open marriage” because I was incapable of having s*x due to a heart condition. ALL LIES. She said she didn’t want a relationship, she just wanted s*x. I told Fred I had been in contact with Gabbi & he confessed to the affair. He begged me to stay, but I refused. I moved to a small town 20 miles away & filed for divorce. I didn’t talk to Fred for weeks. Slowly my anger subsided and I desperately missed the man I married. I called Fred. He said he would do anything if I would just give him another chance. Fred promised to find us a marriage counselor. We decided to try and save our marriage. Then, one day at work a customer told me Fred had a woman living with him. I immediately called Fred, he said, “I thought you knew I had a roomate?“ He explained that after I moved out, he couldn’t afford to cover the bills on his own, so his assistant chef, Jackie Delaine Alexander Burnett, moved in with him. I’d never met her, so I did a quick internet search. What I saw quickly put my mind at ease. She looked old enough to be his mother and unattractive enough to be his father. I wasn’t worried about him sleeping with her at all. Boy was I WRONG. The whole time he was telling me he wanted to save our marriage, he was telling her he hated me and our marriage was over. They started sleeping together 2 months after we were married. He was seeing her and Gabbi at the same time! When I moved out & filed for divorce, Jackie quit her job and walked out on her husband of 8 years to move in with Fred. As the date for our divorce trial grew closer, I decided to write Jackie explaining that I wanted to save my marriage and she should try to save her marriage, too. I wanted to give it to her in person, hoping maybe she would agree to talk to me after reading the letter. I had never met or spoken to Jackie before & had no idea how she would react. I finally worked up the nerve to drive to the house. Fred was outside, I started walking over to him but before I could say a word, Jackie was leaping off the porch cursing & screaming at me to get off their property. I held out the letter and said, “Please Jackie…” She grabbed it out of my hand and tore it into pieces. She started pushing me back screaming, “YOU F****D UP! UNDERSTAND? GET BACK IN YOUR F*****G CAR AND LEAVE!” Fred just stood there with his mouth open. He looked as shocked as I was. I got in my car and left. I wrote a second letter and mailed it to her. I never got a response. Looking back on it now, I think Fred must have lied & told her terrible things about me, that’s the only explanation I can come up with as to why she came at me the way she did. Five months ago, on August 22nd, 2014, our marriage was legally dissolved. Fred and Jackie are still living together. Gabbi was arrested, convicted of a drug felony and sent to rehab in September. Writing this has been extremely difficult. I’m a mess. I cant even begin to put into words what I’m feeling. I so desperately miss the love I felt, the man I married & the life we had. I wish I never would have read that message from Gabbi on his phone. Please G*d, I just want to go home.


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