Barney Stinson, New York, NY

Barney is the sickest man I have ever met. I met him at a nightclub a few years ago and he gave me the fake name “Ted Mosby” and pretended to be an architect. just so he could get in my pants. He think he is G*d’s gift to women. He drinks heavily and is known to drink himself into such a stupor that he can’t even talk anymore. I heard a rumor that he got so drunk one time that he could only tell the truth. I would have LOVED to be there for that one. He LIES constantly and cons his way into sleeping with women and fat-shames the ones he decides he doesn’t want. If you are unfortunate enough to go to his strange apartment he literally has his house FILLED with schemes and devices to GET YOU OUT after he is done with you. One time he even had this crazy red-headed chick pretend to be his wife in order to get a girl out after he was done. He knows he can’t get a real girl so he resorts to insane tricks like:

1. Pretending he is a professor who traveled back in time to save the world by sleeping with you.
2. Seducing your co-workers and pretending to like them to get to you.
3. creating fake websites about himself and then pretending to be said famous person.
4. Holding his phone number up at sporting events.
5. He literally has a F*****G AUTO-dialer in his living room that randomly calls women to try and hook up with them.
6. Pretends he is terminally ill so you will give him a sympathy lay.
7. Creepily stands within ear-shot listening to your conversation until you say you love something than immediately interjects pretending to be the inventor of that something.

He is a sociopath, liar, and heartless maniac with the only intention of banging you and walking away. I heard he even pretending to be married for years with a son just to fool his own mother. Anyone else have crazy experiences with this guy??


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